990 Archivesworst kind of snobs are salad dressing snobs. As anyone with *real tastebuds* knows, ranch dressing is the bestkind of dressing.

Thankfully for some of us, Hidden Valley is releasing a giant magnum bottle of ranch dressing just in time for the holidays.

Call it a dumb corporate promotion if you want. I don't care. There are thousands -- perhaps even millions -- of us out there who would love these enormous tubs of highly processed lard in their kitchen cabinet.

This particular bottle will hold 1.75 liters of ranch dressing, as compared to the standard eight ounces. It currently retails for $25 online, and goes on sale December 3.

Also available in the shop is a ranch tree topper, some ranch-themed holiday sweaters, and even ranch dressing bottle ornaments. How festive.

I'm sick and tired of people pushing their homemade healthy vinaigrettes on me. Lemon is not dressing. Olive oil is not enough. I want bad romaine salad with one baby carrot drowned in ranch dressing every night of the year.

Thanks to this cheesy corporate promotion, now I can.

Gross Christmas came early this year.